Happy New Year everyone!

Brutus & i want to wish you all a prosperous year, with new beginnings and many possibilities ahead of you.
It's a great opportunity for renewal and reaffirmation of our place and purpose, to move forward, to grow and prosper. To find ourselves, to find in other's what they cannot see themselves, but most of all; finding this in what is Us.

I'm looking forward to this year and what i hope it brings, i hope you all do too!

Hugs, melinda.

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Awaiting directions
 
 
I had a post on my own blog about punishing melinda. It attracted some interest so I decided to elaborate on the subject on this website.
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If you have a sub then sooner or later comes the time when you have to punish her. In my opinion the goal of the punishment it to reiterate the type of relation a Dom has with his sub. In other words the punishment should not be for the transgression a sub may have committed but  to reestablish her submission. Therefore ant broken rule or misbehaviour is only the event that triggers the punishment and not the actual reason.
Why is it like this? The reason is quite simple, in a D/s relation the Dom makes the decisions and the sub follows them. Any breaking of rules is therefore in the first place a departure of this principal that has been mutually agreed on. (the presumption here is SSC). The broken rule it self is therefore just an event that could almost be considered arbitrarily. Any other rule could have been broken and it also really does not matter which one it was. What only matters is that if left unpunished the principal of the D/s relation is in decline. And this has to be stopped and if needed reversed if it is desired that the D/s relation is to continue. Considering this it could be argued that a rule does not even has to be broken for a punishment to take place. At any time when a Dom is convinced his sub is departing from her submission and this is undermining the nature of their D/s relation he may decide to punish his sub.

Now comes the matter of finding an appropriate punishment and this should be carefully tuned to the character of the sub. Why should this be done? Why should a Dom change his ways to accommodate his sub? Also here there is a simple and pragmatic answer. His sub is, thank God, in the modern western society a free person. Not only does she not have to tolerate any inappropriate punishment, it is also in the interest of a Dom to keep the end goal in mind with everything he does with his sub. And this end goal is submission and obedience. This may not appeal to some Doms and Subs, but it is the reality. 
So now that A Dom knows that he has one more tool in his tool box to manage his sub, he can start understanding how she thinks and feels about punishment. And he can adjust or compromise his reactions to get the best results.



 
 
I would like to wish everyone a Merry Xmas - I hope it will be full of joy and delight!
 
 

Service

23/12/2011

0 Comments

 
Last year I wrote about service and Christmas on my blog. I was very new to TTWD then, only 2 months in fact. I figured that Christmas could be a difficult time to serve your Dominant partner -with many having a big gathering and lots of family around them. I was soon corrected and I quickly understood why. With so much domesticity to be done it is perfect for a subbie to service, not only her Sir/Master/Dominant/Husband/insert your personal preference, but also all those people that are around that I thought would inhibit rather than promote the opportunity to show submission and serve.

How will you do this Christmas? Will you/Your submissive have any specific tasks to do or rules to follow? Have something reminding her that she is under Your rule, like maybe be wear unusually sexy/kinky underwear -or maybe none at all! Maybe if your gatherings are very formal she will be able to call You Sir without anyone batting an eye? Have on special jewelry that is/can act as a collar?

I know you all gonna be busy now but I would love to hear how you will do/did to maintain or even enhance the roles of your relationship.
 
 
Yesterday I asked Brutus to join me on this blog and He happily accepted. I'm delighted that He did, however I did express some concern of handing over control of "my pet" (I'm a bit OCDy about certain things, and to be honest -sorry to rat You out Sir!- Brutus is a bit....... internet-challenged? *lol* (I say that with a LOT of affection), so when He told me today that He'd tried to add a Picture of the Day pic but had to "abandon" it I kind of had to smile *lol* =)
"I hope I didn't mess up Your template" had me gulp a bit though =P
But the funny thing is I wasn't really worried at all, I actually felt completely calm. Why? Not so sure but I think some of it has to do with confidence. I have confidence in Him, and I have confidence in my own ability to fix it.

You want to know what the blog looked like when I came to check it? ^^

Here ya go then:
Brutus You know I love You don't you!? *mwah* But once You're back home, may I give You a tutorial (please)? Or is that topping from the bottom? ^^ 
But like it says up above; it's our place *Smiles*
OUR place  =) 
Doesn't that sound good? I think it does, so I'll say it again; 

Our place, this is our place.

(OK, I'm gonna stop now, I promise! *LOL*)


I realize that I've said that this blog is gonna be completely topical and well, so far it hasn't really has it? So I'm calling out for inspiration;

What would you like the first topic of discussion to be about?
 
 
Today I asked Brutus if He would like to co-edit this blog with me, and to my delight He said He would love to! I think this can be fun! (Although I have to admit I am a bit scared to render control of it! One thing handing over myself, a whole different thing rendering control of my pet! *lol*).

So from now on you'll see two sides of the same coin here, I hope it will make it all the better!
I'm honored You want to share this with me, thank You Sir! 

Please welcome my sweet Sadist & Sir - Brutus!


 

The Blog

21/12/2011

3 Comments

 
You might wonder why the blog has the layout it does -I mean it's a TTWD blog right?
Well, here's the reason; my other blog is about me, Brutus, our relationship and TTWD in general. From time to time it involves kink and can be readily described in quite some detail.
However this blog isn't about that. This blog is a purely "theoretic" blog. Of course my own relationship will be brought up, but it will be to bring forth my experiences and my views, not to tell about myself and my life.
Here I want to bring up subjects around TTWD, things that can be discussed, turned & twisted to look at it from different angles and points of view.
I want it to be a place for open reflection and discussion about anything and everything that has to do with this lifestyle.
Apart from Picture of the Day there won't be no explicit kink, all (if any) kink will be of a theoretical and factual nature -no personal stories.
And this is the reason for the blog not looking at all kinky. It's a place to chat, discuss and socialize -it's my own little mini-café of sorts.
I hope you will enjoy your stay here at Le Café Méchant! *LOL*

Best regards, melinda.